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Book Review of Finished by Jon Acuff
Reading Time – 10 minutes
Introduction
“Finished: Give Yourself the Gift of Done” by Jon Acuff is a fresh and transformative guide that reshapes the way we think about setting and achieving goals. Known for his humorous and relatable writing style, Acuff tackles a serious issue that resonates with many: why so many goals are started but left unfinished. Drawing from personal experiences and extensive research, Acuff argues that the typical methods for achieving goals often set us up for failure. Instead, he presents an unconventional approach to success, emphasizing the importance of progress over perfection and dismantling the myth that relentless hustle is the only path to achievement.
This book is especially relevant for professionals, entrepreneurs, and creatives who find themselves consistently setting ambitious goals but struggling to follow through. It shifts the focus from unrealistic standards to a more practical and sustainable way to achieve consistent, measurable progress. Below, we explore Acuff’s core principles, practical advice, and impactful insights that make Finished a must-read for anyone looking to succeed in their personal and professional lives.
The Perfection Problem
Acuff begins by identifying perfectionism as a major culprit in why people abandon their goals. He points out that perfectionism creates an all-or-nothing mindset, where any imperfection becomes a reason to give up. This is evident in how many New Year’s resolutions falter after just a few weeks. Instead of helping us strive for success, perfectionism often acts as a barrier to progress by convincing us that anything less than flawless execution isn’t worthwhile.
A central message in Finished is that “perfect” is not only unrealistic but also a trap that can paralyze us. Acuff argues that rather than aiming for perfection, we should focus on completing our goals—even if the result isn’t ideal. This mindset shift can lead to better results and less frustration, as the act of finishing itself becomes a powerful motivator for future endeavours.
Cut the Goal in Half
One of Acuff’s most striking recommendations is to “cut your goal in half.” He explains that people often set goals that are overly ambitious, thinking that high standards will drive them to achieve more. However, unrealistic goals tend to lead to burnout and discouragement, making people more likely to give up when progress slows. By cutting goals in half, Acuff encourages a focus on attainable targets, which can lead to greater motivation, productivity, and satisfaction.
In a professional setting, this approach can be transformative. For example, rather than setting a goal to double business revenue in one year, it might be more realistic to aim for a 25% increase. Breaking down large goals into smaller, manageable pieces increases the likelihood of success and gives individuals and teams a greater sense of accomplishment.
Choose What to Bomb
Acuff introduces a novel concept of “choosing what to bomb,” which involves deciding which areas of life to intentionally neglect when working on a specific goal. Since time and energy are limited, achieving goals often requires sacrificing other activities or responsibilities temporarily. By prioritizing what’s essential and consciously “bombing” what isn’t, Acuff argues that we can better channel our focus and avoid burnout.
For professionals, this principle is a game-changer, especially in an age where multitasking and overcommitting are common pitfalls. Instead of feeling the pressure to excel in every area, individuals can zero in on high-priority tasks while accepting that certain areas may not receive the same level of attention.
Make It Fun If You Want It Done
One of Acuff’s most relatable insights is that goals are easier to achieve when they’re enjoyable. He suggests that people underestimate the importance of enjoyment in goal-setting, often thinking that achieving big goals has to be difficult or unpleasant. Acuff encourages readers to find ways to make the process fun because, as he puts it, “fun is fuel.” Making goals enjoyable increases commitment and reduces the likelihood of giving up.
Professionals can apply this principle by incorporating elements of fun into their work processes. Whether through team-building activities, friendly competitions, or simply allowing for creativity and flexibility in projects, making work enjoyable can increase productivity and morale.
Get Rid of the Secret Rules
Acuff also addresses the “secret rules” people unknowingly follow, which often hold them back. These rules can include unspoken beliefs like “I have to work 24/7 to be successful” or “If I don’t achieve this by a certain age, I’m a failure.” Such mental restrictions limit our potential and often cause unnecessary stress. Acuff encourages readers to identify and challenge these invisible rules, which can free them from self-imposed limitations and open up new possibilities.
In a business context, shedding these secret rules can lead to breakthroughs in performance and confidence. For instance, letting go of the notion that “success means doing it all alone” can empower professionals to seek collaboration and support, often resulting in higher-quality outcomes.
Give Yourself Grace
One of the most refreshing takeaways from Finished is Acuff’s emphasis on self-compassion. He reminds readers that setbacks are a natural part of any process and encourages them not to be too hard on themselves when things don’t go perfectly. This principle is especially impactful in a professional world where failure is often stigmatized. Instead of viewing setbacks as signs of inadequacy, Acuff suggests treating them as learning opportunities that can provide valuable insights for future attempts.
The idea of giving oneself grace can be transformative for both personal and professional development. By shifting the focus from rigid expectations to a mindset that allows room for growth and resilience, individuals can approach their goals with renewed enthusiasm and a willingness to try again.
Conclusion
Jon Acuff’s Finished is a practical and thought-provoking guide that challenges traditional approaches to goal-setting. By advocating for progress over perfection, encouraging fun and flexibility, and teaching readers to prioritize wisely, Acuff offers a refreshing approach to completing goals. This book is a reminder that the path to achievement doesn’t have to be gruelling or defined by impossible standards. Instead, by being realistic, adaptable, and kind to ourselves, we can not only finish what we start but also enjoy the journey along the way.
Whether you’re a professional looking to enhance productivity, an entrepreneur chasing ambitious dreams, or simply someone wanting to follow through on personal aspirations, Finished provides tools and insights to help you succeed. In a world where unfinished projects often pile up, Acuff’s strategies offer a roadmap to completion—and to the joy and satisfaction that come with seeing a goal through to the end.
In the comments let me know what strategies help you to finish your goals.
Julie Stobbe is a Trained Professional Organizer and Lifestyle Organizing Coach who brings happiness to homes and organization to offices, coaching you virtually using Zoom. She has been working with clients since 2006 to provide customized organizing solutions to suit their individual needs and situations. She uses her love of teaching to reduce clutter, in your home, office, mind and time. She guides and supports you to be accountable for your time, to complete projects and to reach your goals. If you’re in a difficult transition Julie can coach you to break-free of emotional clutter constraining you from living life on your terms. Online courses are available to help instruct, coach and support your organizing projects. Get started by downloading Tips for Reorganizing 9 Rooms.
Contact her at julie@mindoverclutter.ca
Twitter – Facebook – Facebook group Organizing Mind and Space
Some people are just better at taking action than others. At least, that’s how it can often seem when you want to take action but can’t figure out how you should go about it. You can transform yourself from a thinker to a doer using the following three secrets.
1. Stop Waiting For The Perfect Time
The most obvious difference between a thinker and someone who is a doer is that doers don’t worry about waiting for the perfect time. This is because perfection is a myth. There is no such thing as the perfect time. You will always have a full schedule; you will always have other things to do. It is time to accept that there is no time like the present for whatever you wish to accomplish. So stop waiting, and start doing instead.
2. Write Your Plan Down
Many people don’t take action now because they aren’t sure where to start. If your plan is quite large, like a career change, it can be difficult to know exactly where to start. What helps with this is to sit down and make an outline of your plan or goal. Break it down into smaller, more manageable pieces. Then, start with the first manageable piece that you can do. For the career example listed above, the first step would be to update your resume to apply for new jobs. Seems much more approachable than just thinking you want a new career, right?
3. Overcome Your Fear
Are you afraid to take action now because you don’t think you will be successful? Or maybe you are afraid that you will make mistakes along the way? You aren’t alone. Most people who aren’t doers don’t take action because they are afraid of what could happen. Either way, it’s time to overcome these fears so that you can take action now. And the best way to do this is by recognizing that you are human and that making mistakes is part of life. Don’t worry about thinking you may fail; this is okay too. Remember that all successful people have had failures too. This doesn’t mean they didn’t eventually achieve their dreams! Learn more about the fear of failure and how to overcome it in this article, 11 Ways to Overcome Fear. Author Erica Juras wrote a blog Face Your Dreams . She talks about fear, facing it and how she was able to write a trilogy.
Taking action now can seem like a tall order, but when you have these three secrets up your sleeve, you may find that taking action is easier than you originally thought. So if you have big plans for your life, don’t sit around waiting for them to happen on their own. Take action today and make your dream a reality.
Book an appointment with me to start on your journey to success
Julie Stobbe is a Trained Professional Organizer and Lifestyle Organizing Coach who brings happiness to homes and organization to offices, coaching you virtually using Zoom. She has been working with clients since 2006 to provide customized organizing solutions to suit their individual needs and situations. She uses her love of teaching to reduce clutter, in your home, office, mind and time. She guides and supports you to be accountable for your time, to complete projects and to reach your goals. If you’re in a difficult transition Julie can coach you to break-free of emotional clutter constraining you from living life on your terms. Online courses are available to help instruct, coach and support your organizing projects. Get started by downloading Tips for Reorganizing 9 Rooms.
Contact her at julie@mindoverclutter.ca
Twitter – Facebook – Facebook group Organizing Mind and Space
Getting over procrastination takes action. Of course that is easier said than done. Today I’m going to share a simple three-step process with you that will help you get started and get more done than you ever thought possible.
Set a goal
It all starts with a goal. You have to know what it is you want to accomplish. If you don’t know what your goal is, it’s hard to know what you should be doing first or what you should be doing right now to move in the right direction. So what do we do instead? Anything other than the work we know needs to get done.
Your goal is simply to put what you know you need to get done into words. A good goal has defined parameters and a set deadline. It doesn’t have to be complicated. Here’s a simple goal we all strive to accomplish. We have to file our taxes by a specific date. You have a pretty good idea of what paperwork you need, what forms you need to fill out, and where you need to turn them in. You also know what your deadline is. In other words, you have a well-defined goal when it comes to filing your income taxes. And yes, I realized most of us still procrastinate when it comes to this particular task. That’s why the remaining steps are just as important as the first one. For now, I want you to think about one thing you need to get done and turn it into a goal.
Write it down
Write it down. I don’t care if you find a random scrap of paper, use your favourite notebook, or type a note to yourself on your phone. The important part is that you put your goal into writing. This does two things. First of all, it helps you clarify what your goal is. You have to get pretty specific when you try to put what you want or need to do into words. Secondly, writing it down gives you something to look back on. It serves as a reminder and as a tool that you can use when you are tempted to procrastinate.
Set an appointment with yourself
Last but not least, it’s time to get started. That’s often the hardest part, isn’t it? You’re tempted to skip your workout until you lace up your shoes and get started. Once you’re off and running, it’s much easier to keep going. Once you have your goal written down, think about something you can do right now to move you in the right direction. Go do that. Then come back and do something else. Each morning, start by looking at your goal and challenge yourself to take action. Before you know it, you will have made some serious progress. And you’re starting to beat procrastination.
A three-step process to stop procrastinating: set a goal, write it down, schedule time. You can do it Share on X
Need help setting goals? Book a 30-minute complimentary virtual appointment and let me help you get started.
Julie Stobbe is a Trained Professional Organizer and Lifestyle Organizing Coach who brings happiness to homes and organization to offices, coaching you virtually using Zoom. She has been working with clients since 2006 to provide customized organizing solutions to suit their individual needs and situations. She uses her love of teaching to reduce clutter, in your home, office, mind and time. She guides and supports you to be accountable for your time, to complete projects and to reach your goals. If you’re in a difficult transition Julie can coach you to break free of emotional clutter constraining you from living life on your terms. Online courses are available to help instruct, coach and support your organizing projects. Get started by downloading Tips for Reorganizing 9 Rooms.
Contact her at julie@mindoverclutter.ca
Twitter – Facebook – Facebook group Organizing Mind and Space
January is usually the time for goal setting, however it can be done at any time. You might want to set goals for a month or quarter of the year or the entire year. Take a moment to think about things you might want to improve in your life. Before you stop reading I want to present three ways of setting goals. Decide which one will work for you.
Pick one area and improve it
I am a person who is motivated by a fear of failure, I don’t want to fail, so I am cautious. My system of setting goals is to look at my business or life and see where I think could be improved, and what types of skills I need to improve so my business or life will improve. I pick one thing and then work on it all year to get better at it. For example, I wouldn’t say I liked social media so I decided to start working at becoming better at it and setting up a system that works for my day and philosophy about the importance of social media. I picked a platform, got good at it and continued to add more and more platforms. I organized workshops on Twitter and Google Business, I listened to webinars. A vague plan works for me because I am self-motivated, I am not a procrastinator. I read an interesting article by Ravi Venkatesan about the importance of learning new things, “What skill will you acquire this year? What new activity will you start?” Perhaps learning to play a new instrument, going on an adventure or taking on a new role- anything that causes you to move out of your comfort zone. Pick a goal that challenges you at about a level 5 out of 10. If you are too fearful you will panic and not start. Choose a goal that challenges you and allows new neural connections to form. That would be a good goal for this year.
S.M.A.R.T Goals
Set goals that you can attain
That vague framework of deciding what you want to do to improve your business or life would not for everyone. We are all different. So there is a goal-setting system called SMART. You pick a specific goal with measurable outcomes, that are achievable, realistic, and have timely outcomes. When you use this system of goal setting it gives you a step by step plan to follow. For example with my social media goal, if it had been a SMART goal, would be something like
I will learn how to post on Facebook,
S (specific) – I will post 3 times a week, one original content, one picture, and one comment on someone else’s post
M(measurable) – Did I post 3 times/week?
A (achievable) – I have that much time in my week
R(realistic) – If I only have to do it 3 times a week I will not become frustrated and stop
T(timely)- I have 3 mornings a week when I can do these posts. Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday
This will work for some people who like to have a step by step plan and follow it. It can cause problems if people stop following the plan. They may give up and not start again or some people may feel like it is too rigid. Set your goal and keep trying to do it, that is the only way you will get better at it.
Turn desire into intention
Be intentional about your plan
I read an article that reveals a simple trick that doubles the chance for success in obtaining goals. Earlier I commented on what motivates me. Sometimes we say, I need to motivate myself to get working on…., In this article, it says motivation is not the key to reaching your goals it is intention.
A study in the British Journal of Health Psychology divided 248 adults into 3 exercise groups.
- Group 1 had to record how often they exercised during a 3 week period
- Group 2 was told “Most young adults who have stuck to a regular exercise program have found it to be very effective in reducing their chances of developing coronary heart disease. ” ( motivation to exercise) and had to record how often they exercised during a 3 week period
- Group 3 recorded when and where they would exercise (intention to exercise), they were given the same motivation as Group 2 and they recorded how often they exercised during a 3 week period
Results
- Control group 1 38% exercised at least once per week
- The motivated group 2 35% exercised at least once per week
- The intentional group 3 91% exercised at least once per week
We all have some level of desire or willpower or motivation but what turns desire into action is a written plan for implementation. When you have a goal to do something, record when and how you will do that behaviour or activity. It will be the environment that triggers you to do your new behaviour or activity and not motivation or will power. This year I used the intention method to become better at making videos.
- Every morning for 30 days I made a video of 1 minute or less and sent it to a friend. It was not edited and most of the time there was only one take, no practice videos. The when of the intention was at 8 am and the who of the intention, was a friend who expected to receive a video.
- Step 2 was 30 days of videos on Instagram Stories. It was usually at 8:15 am but sometimes it was at another time in the day when I was getting dressed up for a meeting.
- Step 3 was 30 days on Facebook Live.
The level of challenge increases with each step. It is a great way to become better at doing video. How would you use this system of setting goals?
These are just 3 systems
- Having an all-encompassing vision or
- Setting SMART goals or
- Intentionally decide when you will do something and block off time
that can help you establish new behaviours to accomplish a goal for 2024. Pick the one that works for you.
Set goals to help you move out of your comfort zone, learn new skills and grow. Share on XWhen you hire me, I don’t have the Mind over Clutter organizing system, implement it and then be done. I discuss what is working for you and how you do things so I can find solutions that work for how you think, feel and your lifestyle. I want you to accomplish your organizing project so you meet your goals.
Now I would like to hear from you:
What strategy from today’s post are you going to try first?
Maybe I didn’t mention your favourite way to set goals.
Either way, let me know by leaving a comment below right now.
Want help in 2024 to get your Mind and Space Organized, join my Facebook group full of free tips
Julie Stobbe is a Trained Professional Organizer and Lifestyle Organizing Coach who brings happiness to homes and organization to offices, coaching you virtually over Zoom. She has been working with clients since 2006 to provide customized organizing solutions to suit their individual needs and situations. She uses her love of teaching to reduce clutter, in your home, office, mind and time. If you’re in a difficult transition Julie can coach you to break free of emotional clutter constraining you from living life on your terms. Get started by downloading Tips for Reorganizing 9 Rooms.
Contact her at julie@mindoverclutter.ca
Twitter – Facebook –Facebook group Organizing Mind and Space
Carolyn Shannon is my guest blogger today. Her business Venting Creatively helps people to find creative ways to shine a light on their life from a different view. She publishes a magazine called Women of Worth magazine.
Being productive leaves time for the things that are important to you
Top 10 Productivity Time Killers
Every day countless hours are wasted away due to non-productive activities. Time is money, so when distractions and procrastination set in profitability will decline. A survey conducted by OfficeTime.net has revealed 10 of the biggest time killers. The main offenders that reduce our productivity are:
1. Emails
2. Surfing the net
3. Watching TV
4. Procrastination
5. Meetings
6. Non-business conversations
7. Commuting & travel time
8. Social networking
9. Cell Phones & texting
10. Dealing with red tape
Types of Time Wasting
There are many factors that lead to procrastination. There are a few broad categories that most time wasting falls into.
1. Indecision.
Perfectionists will often struggle with indecision. Some things may never become perfect, and putting too much focus on perfection will mean too much time spent on one job. Splitting the work into smaller tasks is one way to deal with it more effectively.
2. Avoidance.
Fear of being judged can be the main cause of procrastination. It could be fear of failure or even success. Neither of these is something to be ashamed of. Success should be celebrated, and failure is the best way of learning. Think less about what others may think and more about trying your best at the task at hand.
3. Thrill Seeking.
This is when procrastination is justified because the worker likes the thrill of an approaching deadline. If this is the case it is best to move deadlines closer and set personal targets. This still gets you the thrill of working against the clock, while reducing procrastination.
How to Put an End to Time Killers
The first step to battling time killers is to understand and appreciate the amount of time that is being wasted. What is the value of all that lost time? Time wasters will directly affect your career advancement opportunities and reduce the amount of income you could have received. Tracking where your time is spent will allow for efficient time management. Don’t just rely on your memory to remember what you did during the day. Use a system so that you have a written record that can be looked over and analyzed. This could be as simple as creating a timetable on a piece of paper or utilizing a computer program or app to record your daily activities. Cutting down on time killers is a good start, but there are other strategies that should be used to effectively manage your time:
1. Define your purpose.
You need to know exactly what you want when starting a task. Without a definite purpose, you will lose focus.
2. Smart goal setting.
Choose realistic and specific goals and targets. It should be measurable so you know when it has been completed.
3. Plan on a regular basis.
As factors change, your plan should be adjusted to reflect the reality of the situation.
To truly beat time killers you need to work on your mindset & stick to your plan for the long term.
Which type of Time Waster Are You?
1. Thrill Seekers
They feel they can procrastinate, as they enjoy the feeling of working against a deadline
Tip: constantly set and adjust deadlines so that you still get the adrenaline rush but are using your time more effectively than procrastinating
2. Avoiders
They prefer to procrastinate as a means to avoid being judged. Whether it is a success or a failure
Tip: Success is a good thing and nothing to be ashamed of. Failure is a way to learn and improve. Focus on doing the best job you can and not on what others think.
3. Indecisive people
They are often perfectionists but procrastinate to shift responsibility from themselves
Tip: Not everything has to be perfect so try to take small risks and use your intuition. Mistakes may mean you learn something new. Try to split the task up into more manageable parts.
Need help setting new patterns and mindsets this year contact me. I can work with you virtually to help you become more productive and have time for the things that are important to you.
Julie Stobbe is a Trained Professional Organizer and Lifestyle Organizing Coach who brings happiness to homes and organization to offices, coaching you virtually using Zoom. She has been working with clients since 2006 to provide customized organizing solutions to suit their individual needs and situations. She uses her love of teaching to reduce clutter, in your home, office, mind and time. She guides and supports you to be accountable for your time, to complete projects and to reach your goals. If you’re in a difficult transition Julie can coach you to break-free of emotional clutter constraining you from living life on your terms. Online courses are available to help instruct, coach and support your organizing projects. Get started by downloading Tips for Reorganizing 9 Rooms.
Contact her at julie@mindoverclutter.ca
Twitter – Facebook – Facebook group Organizing Mind and Space
Carolyn Shannon is my guest blogger today. Her business Venting Creatively helps people to find creative ways to shine a light on their life from a different view. She publishes a magazine called Women of Worth magazine.
Being productive leaves time for the things that are important to you
Top 10 Productivity Time Killers
Every day countless hours are wasted away due to non-productive activities. Time is money, so when distractions and procrastination set in profitability will decline. A survey conducted by OfficeTime.net has revealed 10 of the biggest time killers. The main offenders that reduce our productivity are:
1. Emails
2. Surfing the net
3. Watching TV
4. Procrastination
5. Meetings
6. Non-business conversations
7. Commuting & travel time
8. Social networking
9. Cell Phones & texting
10. Dealing with red tape
Types of Time Wasting
There are many factors that lead to procrastination. There are a few broad categories that most time wasting falls into.
1. Indecision.
Perfectionists will often struggle with indecision. Some things may never become perfect, and putting too much focus on perfection will mean too much time spent on one job. Splitting the work into smaller tasks is one way to deal with it more effectively.
2. Avoidance.
Fear of being judged can be the main cause of procrastination. It could be fear of failure or even success. Neither of these is something to be ashamed of. Success should be celebrated, and failure is the best way of learning. Think less about what others may think and more about trying your best at the task at hand.
3. Thrill Seeking.
This is when procrastination is justified because the worker likes the thrill of an approaching deadline. If this is the case it is best to move deadlines closer and set personal targets. This still gets you the thrill of working against the clock, while reducing procrastination.
How to Put an End to Time Killers
The first step to battling time killers is to understand and appreciate the amount of time that is being wasted. What is the value of all that lost time? Time wasters will directly affect your career advancement opportunities and reduce the amount of income you could have received. Tracking where your time is spent will allow for efficient time management. Don’t just rely on your memory to remember what you did during the day. Use a system so that you have a written record that can be looked over and analyzed. This could be as simple as creating a timetable on a piece of paper or utilizing a computer program or app to record your daily activities. Cutting down on time killers is a good start, but there are other strategies that should be used to effectively manage your time:
1. Define your purpose.
You need to know exactly what you want when starting a task. Without a definite purpose, you will lose focus.
2. Smart goal setting.
Choose realistic and specific goals and targets. It should be measurable so you know when it has been completed.
3. Plan on a regular basis.
As factors change, your plan should be adjusted to reflect the reality of the situation.
To truly beat time killers you need to work on your mindset & stick to your plan for the long term.
Which type of Time Waster Are You?
1. Thrill Seekers
They feel they can procrastinate, as they enjoy the feeling of working against a deadline
Tip: constantly set and adjust deadlines so that you still get the adrenaline rush but are using your time more effectively than procrastinating
2. Avoiders
They prefer to procrastinate as a means to avoid being judged. Whether it is a success or a failure
Tip: Success is a good thing and nothing to be ashamed of. Failure is a way to learn and improve. Focus on doing the best job you can and not on what others think.
3. Indecisive people
They are often perfectionists but procrastinate to shift responsibility from themselves
Tip: Not everything has to be perfect so try to take small risks and use your intuition. Mistakes may mean you learn something new. Try to split the task up into more manageable parts.
Need help setting new patterns and mindsets this year contact me. I can work with you virtually to help you become more productive and have time for the things that are important to you.
Julie Stobbe is a Trained Professional Organizer and Lifestyle Organizing Coach who brings happiness to homes and organization to offices, coaching you virtually using Zoom. She has been working with clients since 2006 to provide customized organizing solutions to suit their individual needs and situations. She uses her love of teaching to reduce clutter, in your home, office, mind and time. She guides and supports you to be accountable for your time, to complete projects and to reach your goals. If you’re in a difficult transition Julie can coach you to break-free of emotional clutter constraining you from living life on your terms. Online courses are available to help instruct, coach and support your organizing projects. Get started by downloading Tips for Reorganizing 9 Rooms.
Contact her at julie@mindoverclutter.ca
Twitter – Facebook – Facebook group Organizing Mind and Space
And what does worrying do to us? It causes stress, sleepless nights, stomach aches, arguments, etc., and sometimes it causes us to not enjoy life’s pleasures…..yes?So, who am I to tell you to stop worrying?
While I’m not a therapist or a psychologist, I am a professional organizer who sees clients every day who are worried about all sorts of different things. I’m also an engineer. Therefore, I make no judgments on my clients’ clutter, and I don’t see disorganization as a character flaw: I only see it as a problem to be solved. You’ll be relieved to know I only try to solve it for you if you ask! Friends say, “I don’t want you to come over and see my mess!” To which I reply, “I don’t care about your mess unless you are paying me to care about it!”
Naturally, I have problems too, and I worry about them, but I think I worry less than others do because of the methods I use that I will tell you about.
But first…
I want you to start thinking about worrying as a form of clutter.
What is Clutter? Here’s what I believe:
- Clutter is anything that stands in the way of the life you want to live.
- Clutter takes many forms. Little things like paper; big things like furniture; negative thoughts; and unfulfilling activities.
- Clutter weighs us down. Physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
- Everyone deserves to feel lighter. My logo, the egret taking flight, represents the freedom of rising above your clutter!
- Less clutter in your home, your office, your schedule, and your mind means more room for the life you want to live. Less clutter. More life.
So, it’s easy for me to say that worrying is just Mental Clutter, but what do I propose we do about it?
Now let me ask:
Do you believe in the power of words?
Let’s talk about positive words first. I’m thinking of positive affirmations, inspiring quotes, and prayer of all kinds…do you believe in those things? Do they help motivate you, encourage you, and lift your spirits?
Now, what about negative words? How about verbal abuse from others? And what about negative self-talk? Do you think negative self-talk tears us down and affects us as much, and possibly more than negative talk from others?
Here is a quote I like, which has been attributed to many, but I like the way Meryl Streep said it in her portrayal of Margaret Thatcher in the movie “The Iron Lady”:
She said:
Watch your thoughts, for they become words.
Watch your words, for they become actions.
Watch your actions, for they become habits.
Watch your habits, for they become your character.
And watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.
What we think, we become.
Do you agree with that? I sure do!
So, now, back to worrying…
If you think you can manifest something positive by thinking, talking about, and envisioning it, do you believe you can also manifest something negative by thinking, talking about, and envisioning it?
Or as I like to say:
Worrying is like praying for something you don’t want.
And why on earth would we want to do that?
If you believe in the power of thoughts and words, that’s what you’re doing…aren’t you? Paying undue attention to, and repeating over and over, the thing you don’t want?
If worrying helped, believe me, I’d recommend doing it more often!
With that in mind…
The first step in dealing with Mental Clutter is to identify what you are worried about.
It could be fear, regret, anxiety, shame, guilt…and, actually, it’s fear about a thing, or regret about a thing.
It’s that thing you need to identify, and the more specific you are, the better your chances are of doing something about it.
The next step is to decide: Can you do something about it? Or not?
The Worry Matrix will help you decide what’s worth worrying about.
(Click to read more and download your free copy of the Worry Matrix.)
This is probably the hardest part of the whole process. Because sometimes we feel powerless. We don’t know if we can do something about it or not. Sometimes we need help figuring that out. Sometimes it’s become such a habit to worry, and we are so busy worrying, that we don’t stop to think whether maybe we could do something about it.
Or, maybe something’s changed. In the words of Maya Angelou,
Do the best you can until you know better.
Then when you know better, do better.
Part of this step can include determining whether or not your fears are realistic. If you’re anxious about the future, being prepared for actual, likely events is the key to a peaceful mind.
But the bottom line is: If you are having persistent, worrisome thoughts about something, ask yourself: Can I do something about it? If you aren’t doing anything about it — or if you can’t do anything about it — it’s just Mental Clutter.
If you think you can do something about it – great! Take action!
The pure fact that you are doing something about it will help you to not worry about it so much.
Here are some examples of actions you can take:
Research your situation; Make a plan; Set some goals; Do or delegate a dreaded task; Document vital info; Save money, Make that appointment, Have that awkward conversation.
Forgive someone. Forgive yourself. It’s not easy, but this rationale for forgiveness makes sense to me:
Forgive others not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace.
Also:
Refusing to forgive someone is like drinking poison, and waiting for the other person to die.
Um…right?
If you regret the past and feel guilty about something, but there’s nothing you can do about it, forgive yourself and move on. Remember, you know better now.
One of the reasons why it is so hard to part with your mental clutter is that you’re afraid of not having, or being, enough. Is this because you are comparing yourself to others? Stop it! Have a little faith in yourself.
Here are a couple of quotes I like about not being envious of others:
Grass is greener where you water it.
and
Don’t compare your bloopers to someone else’s highlight reel.
(Especially on Facebook!)
If you’re concerned about what others think, try following Dr. Seuss’ advice:
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.
Here’s another quote I love about having faith in yourself:
A bird sitting in a tree
is never afraid of the branch breaking
because her trust is not on the branch,
but on her own wings.
Always believe in yourself.
What does this mean? Some people would rather trust in God than to trust in themselves. For those of you who want to trust in God, that won’t hurt either. But you still need to do your homework and take action.
Have you heard this expression?
Trust in god but lock your car.
I also like the Middle Eastern version:
Trust in Allah but tie up your camel.
If you really think you cannot do anything about it, then stop worrying about it!
It’s Mental Clutter.
A good example of something you cannot change is someone else’s behaviour.
Are you familiar with The Serenity Prayer?
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.
That’s what I’m saying too: Accept what you can’t change, and change what you can’t accept. Get help if you really don’t know the difference.
Examples: preparing for emergencies; planning for your financial future; repairing (or releasing) damaged relationships; and addressing health issues head on.
If the task ahead seems daunting, break it down into smaller steps. Do them one at a time until you are finished, or you feel prepared, or you have established the new habit that will improve your life and help you worry less.
So, what if, despite your best intentions, you are still living with Mental Clutter? If you have tried taking action on things you can change, and you have tried not worrying about things you cannot change… and you are still worried, ask for help from a friend, therapist, clergy member, or someone who can help with your specific situation – like a doctor, a financial planner, a personal trainer, an attorney, or a professional organizer.
Worry less. Prepare more.
Have those difficult conversations! Make that appointment!
Believe in yourself. And live your life free of Mental Clutter!
What are you worried about? What action are you going to take?
Please share with me in the comments!
Let me know if this helps you, and share it with your friends who may need it.
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Copyright 2015-2016 by Hazel Thornton, Organized For Life.
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Julie Stobbe is a Trained Professional Organizer and Lifestyle Organizing Coach who brings happiness to homes and organization to offices, coaching you virtually using Zoom. She has been working with clients since 2006 to provide customized organizing solutions to suit their individual needs and situations. She uses her love of physical activity to reduce clutter, in your home and office. She guides and supports you in managing your time. If you’re in a difficult transition Julie can coach you to break-free of emotional clutter constraining you from living life on your terms. Online courses are available to help instruct, coach and support your organizing projects. Get started by downloading Tips for Reorganizing 9 Rooms.
Contact her at julie@mindoverclutter.ca
Twitter – Facebook – Facebook group Organizing Mind and Space
